You know what really grinds my gears? (episode 2)

Today I shall revisit my role as ranty columnist, reviewing the bad, the ugly, the stupid and the silly of recent news.

Escapism

Women and children first!

More and more are following their menfolk to, in the words of Nickelback, the bottom of every bottle. What are they all running from?

The Fall of the Holy Roman Empire vol. II?

A rich German-Brazilian (or is it Brazilian-German?) has demanded to be paid in shiny €uros rather than unfashionable dollar$.

African-American or British-Pakistani? Is this the same argument as which side of the road to drive on?

...makes me a sad panda

MO-LES-TATION.

Mr Popular

There is no need for any opposition parties in Chechnya. You see, 100% of the population will support the ruling party 100% of the time.

Mhmmm.

It's just a fucking toy!!

But it helps scientists fight disease!

Mr Unpopular

The Armed Forces feel we are letting them down.

Damn skippy! I cannot remember ever having asked you to go to war on my behalf. So, feel let down. Cut your forearms while you're at it!

Geography

It's not that important when you are a political leader.

Drugs are bad, mmmkay?

DUH!

Britain

Britain wins yet again! Viva Britania!

The Spoils of War

Germany is still the loser. America is still the winner.

Sexyback

Women continue to confuse men by sending mixed signals.

Cat

The cleverest domesticated jungle beast.